a radio show about depression

Lula · Beguiled at Heart and Weird non stop

RE: a radio show about depression

mara · a grateful fan

Piegirl, I ditto that! Our Lula is a natural!

-- Edited by mara at 16:12, 2009-03-02

piegirltx · Veteran Member

lula,
there is something about you that just is captivating. the way you write, syntax and style combined with brutal honesty is riviting. i don't know what you do for a living, but i would salivate at the thought of you producing a book. you are a fascinating read.

Lula · Beguiled at Heart and Weird non stop

Well anyone who has to deal with depression, or any kind of unbearable pain is amazing right? And whatever gets you through it...

I'm lucky that I don't get too many patches, for me it's mainly seasonal, but sometimes it's secondary to the other circumstances in my life.

But...for me it doesn't work repressing, smothering, medicating, blocking, denying...because what we resist persists....and to fully release something, in my experience,the only way out is through...i don't mean by wallowing in it or enjoying the experience, (it's not the ideal state is it?lol. )
I mean by going inwards to the core of the vortex....you really can find the candle in the storm... the jewel under the dirt...I'd recommend meditation to anyone experiencing depression or any kind of pain...even though its the last thing you feel like doing, it brings you in contact with your true self, the shining is always there, whatever sh*t storm is taking you over...and it's there that shift happens...
And this is what I mean when I talk about pain being a gift. It is there as an opportunity to go inwards....to find true self, if the doorway had not appeared you would not have walked through it to find the room or infinite space on the other side....

And the light therapy just makes sense doesn't it?

If less light causes people to be depressed...
Normal household lighting won't do it..... it has to be a certain 'lux factor' (gawd that sounds way too much like X factor for my liking!)
You can get light boxes and panels Bonnie, you sit with them maybe for an hour while getting on with something else. though probably the best is to get the morning sky on your head... !

I also read if you use light therapy for a small time in the early morning it helps with falling asleep at night and if you use bright light at night, it stops early morning waking. Makes sense relating to melatonin...but I'm sure our resident Doc is the expert on that side of things!

piegirltx · Veteran Member

lula,
i definately believe in light therapy. it is 65 degrees here, and gloomy. i am freezing. only really happy at 103 degrees, no clouds and toss in 100% humidity for fun. that's why i will never leave texas! everyone has to battle their depression in their own way, i believe. but i know you are a brave, strong woman to share this with us. maybe this is why you are such an amazing poet? for me, i tend to shut down and become robotic. i turn off my phone, live in my pjs and sleep waaaay too much. then i get disgusted with myself and i claw my way back.

Oom · Soon to be retired blabbermouth

You always have a way of describing things from an 'inner' point of view that fascinates me Lula. I fight to get 'inside' of my soul and fail at it miserably but you actually live there. Amazing girl. Simply amazing.

As far as the light therapy being used for a treatment to depression, I can so see that being useful and working.

I am very much affected by the sun. It can be the coldest day on record in Chicago but if it's sunny out, my mood is wonderful and I am full of energy. I 'come alive' in the spring and literally feel as though darkness decends when the crisp clear days of fall are over and winter sets in. I hate gloomy, dark, dreary days and just want to disappear.

I seriously see me as running off to Florida or California or Arizonia for a month or two every winter when my kids are finally out of the house. Maybe by the time that happens, scientists will have figured out how to wire a house for artificial light that lifts the mood and it won't be necessary. I hope so.

mara · a grateful fan

Wow, your experience sounds so powerful Lula! Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, it´s very brave of you dearie! And I´d love to read about that light therapy you mentioned, thanks...

-- Edited by mara at 08:52, 2009-03-01

Lula · Beguiled at Heart and Weird non stop

What a Beautiful poem Mara, both desolate but hopeful..the part about "the dark hours of my being, my mind opens into them" resonates and
"Then the knowing comes:
I can open
to another life that's wide and timeless" that's the hopeful part...finding depths within the layers only by going within...atleast that's how I'm seeing this and can identify with darkness and pain being gateways you can choose to go into and find something liberating...atleast that is the only way I've managed to deal with the all consuming crippling effects of depression when it has gripped me, by resisting going inwards I've remained in the space but by facing that feeling and being fully immersed in it rather than resisting going inwards with love, being the only one who can do that for yourself, somehow something shifts...it actually works for all kinds of pain.and I'm not saying this from an outside detached perspective, I'm saying it from being right inside the experience and knowing how much of an all consuming living hell it can be...

Wish i could hear what they said on the radio!

Interestingly I've read that light therapy is now being used to treat depression in general, not just seasonal depression. Thought I'd share that in case anyone finds it useful.

Oom · Soon to be retired blabbermouth

Thanks Mara for this link. I'm trying to download it now. I think I'll have a sit, a cup of java and a listen. Depression, from personal experience is hell. Utter hell.

It saps your motivation, it dulls your mind, it immobilizes you completely. And it creeps upon you when you aren't paying attention, to stay for what literally can be years.

It's an isidious disease that destroys lives.

BTW.......I love the poem

-- Edited by Oom at 09:13, 2009-02-28

mara · a grateful fan

Yeah you heard right... it`s a download from this American Public Media show called "Speaking of Faith" that I listen once in a while on WNYC (it´s a show I love, despite being an agnostic myself).

The thing is, this week it was about depression. It´s possibly the best I´ve ever heard or read about this subject. If you´ve never been depressed, stop reading right here, and forgive me for taking some of your valuable time. It you, on the other hand, have experienced it at some point in your life, you might find the listening of this show as enlightening and helpful as I did this morning... at least I hope so. The last 20 minutes of the show are the best IMHO.

gohttp://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2009/depression/

BTW, they read the followin poem by Rainer Maria Rilke (translated from German by Anita Barrows). It sounded haunting to me. Here it is:

Ich liebe meines Wesens Dunkelstunden
I love the dark hours of my being.
My mind deepens into them.
There I can find, as in old letters,
the days of my life, already lived,
and held like a legend, and understood.

Then the knowing comes: I can open
to another life that's wide and timeless.

So I am sometimes like a tree
rustling over a gravesite
and making real the dream
of the one its living roots
embrace:

a dream once lost
among sorrows and songs.

http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2009/depression/poems-rilke.shtml

-- Edited by mara at 08:18, 2009-02-28

-- Edited by mara at 08:18, 2009-02-28